. ” “The good God!” Anna murmured, herself shaken with fear. I want to be myself. No other white people within twenty miles. ’ ‘What?’ ‘Neat little toy. I didn’t think—I don’t know what I thought. ” “It seems so—so unworthy”—she picked among her phrases “of the noble love you give—” She stopped, through the difficulty she found in expressing herself. She saw her life before her robbed of all generous illusions, the wrappered life unwrappered forever, vistas of dull responses, crises of makebelieve, years of exacting mutual disregard in a misty garden of fine sentiments. Most of the boys did not possess the manners that he did. Keeping to the shadow of the house, he crept forward until he could see better without, he hoped, being seen. She reeled in excitement, she unzipped his pants while kissing him, trying not to let herself stop touching him as she unclothed him. This done, she waited at the side of the bed; but he gave no sign that he was conscious of her nearness. She walked for a mile or more recklessly, close veiled, with swift level footsteps, though her brain was in a whirl and a horrible faintness all the time hovered about her.
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