She forced herself not to think of John. She was never able to trace the changes her attitude had undergone, from the time when she believed herself to be the pampered Queen of Fortune, the crown of a good man’s love (and secretly, but nobly, worshipping some one else), to the time when she realized she was in fact just a mannequin for her lover’s imagination, and that he cared no more for the realities of her being, for the things she felt and desired, for the passions and dreams that might move her, than a child cares for the sawdust in its doll. Springing to his feet in an ecstasy of terror, he stumbled, and had well nigh realized his worst apprehensions. When he found himself thinking about it, it upset him so that he at once resorted to distraction. . It is just the aim I have had in view all the time. There was, it might be said, a double illumination. The family always managed to make it home for supper, even though it was a dying custom. My garden-close would be a better thing than that. " This went on for ten days. “If you were to ask me,” he would say, “I should say Blinders is straight. A shaft of searing heat plunged downward.
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